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How to offer your condolences to a friend or family by message ?

3 Jul 2023

12 minutes reading

You might have gone through a number of articles already 🔎, in your attempt of writing a kind message for your close friend or relative going through a painful moment. 🙏 In this article, we provide you with several templates for your messages, poems and quotes. They all have been selected to help you offer your sincere condolences in this delicate step.

When a friend tells you about the death of one his/her close friend or relative, you don’t always know how to react… 😔 You may well fully support your friend, but it is sometimes difficult to find the right words – the words capable of admitting the pain, while soothing the sadness. If you write it, it is a challenging text.

When you write your condolences in a SMS, a message or a card, you don’t have the hug solution. Yet it is your only option if you are far away. 💌 Your friend will treasure this loving gesture.

Between discreetness and affection for your friend who has just lost his/her mother, father or friend, the balance may be hard to find between “too much” and “not enough”. Whether you prefer a SMS, a letter, a message or a card, here’s a little help to support your friend on the occasion of his/her close relative or friend’s death. ❤️

Text templates – Passing

You wish to send a card, a letter or write a considerate message? 💌 Sometimes, we feel helpless. It can be due to our own emotions, or those of the people we intend to support. Here are a few examples of condolences messages. You may adapt the text to find the right tone. For example, you can use the person’s name.

A template to support

The family and friends of someone who died of natural death will appreciate the sensitivity of your text. Your text may refer to the sad news. Make yourself available to support your friends in their sorrow, and add a comforting word. 💛

« I have just learnt the sad news burdening you since yesterday.

Wholeheartedly, I am here for your family should you need me.

Though the absence of your loved one may never be compensated, I hope your sorrow will become lighter in time.

I offer you my sincerest condolences. »

A template to overcome the shock

If your friends have lost someone by an accidental death, the pain is especially sharp. You might not be able to express your thoughts in a text. Say so. 💙 Offer your unconditional support. Look for the comforting words that might make your grieving friends smile for an instant.

« I am choked up upon writing these words. Mostly, I think of your pain before the recent tragedy.

I am aware that no words could dry your tears. Nonetheless, if my sympathetic shoulder or ear may give you some relief in this ordeal, be assured that I am here for you.

I treasure the memory of so many moments enlightened with smiles and laughs.

I am joining you in your sorrow and offer you my sincerest condolences. »

A template to heal

Illness has just taken a loved one away from your friends and family. You may support them in this harrowing tragedy by presenting it as liberation from the illness 🌈. Try to give your support in a way that looks like you.

These examples try to talk of sorrow and comfort in a simple way. Whether you are offering your condolences to family members, friends or colleagues, it is never easy to find the words expressing the sympathy you feel for them. 💙 We hope these templates will allow you to find inspiration to write your own condolences message and share you kindest thoughts to your friends.

« A beautiful soul has just gone away. Before such a relentless fight against the illness, we all wanted to believe in a happier outcome. If our loved one couldn’t recover, it is because he/she heard the call for somewhere else: Peace.

We wish him/her the greatest journey, free from all pain – and light at least.

I join the family in the sadness burdening you and wish you a lot of courage to go ahead.

You are not alone. You can count with me and my sincerest condolences. »

Sending your condolences by message

Mourning is the hardest moment to write comforting words. However, it is at that precise moment that words matter most. Each thought being expressed, each helping hand being offered will support your friends in their mourning, sooner or later 🕯. No need to look for anything complicated. Let your heart speak honestly, and think first of the persons closest to the deceased.

« I am sorry to hear the truly sad news burdening you.

A loved one has gone away. We are left alone with our memories. As for me, I remember a radiant person, kind and considerate.

With a lot of emotion, I offer you my sincerest condolences. »

Customise your message and adapt it to the situation. Don’t hesitate to use the usual nicknames – they create a familiar and confident atmosphere 💚, greatly needed in this difficult time. Name the person who passed away by his/her name. Those who knew the deceased will appreciate it. Even though you write to a colleague, you don’t have to be formal. Be human before anything else – that’s what your message is for.

Write according to the personality of the mourning person. Some will appreciate more sympathy gestures than others. Some people are more reserved in their sorrow than others. A simple supporting gesture may then be enough. Just let the person know you’re here. Other people will appreciate more empathic gestures of sympathy. Beautiful messages of hope, remembering specific memories to distract them from their sadness… Everything is possible, as long as your heart tells you it is right. 🙏

A quote to supplement your condolences

If you don’t know how to express your feelings, or if you think your words alone might not be enough to convey all your sympathy, a quote can help you show your friendship. There are quotes of all kind. We hope you will find here the text that you need.

Death as the continuity of life

Comforting is the thought that your close one has not gone towards the end but towards the future 🌱. Many literature celebrities were able to express this perfectly.

« No one knows yet whether everything lives only to die or dies only to be reborn. » Marguerite Yourcenar, French woman of letters

« Our existence lies between two eternities. » Timée, Greek philosopher

« Dying is not dying. […] It’s changing! » Alphonse De Lamartine, French poet

Death for those who stay 

The living are left to face the mourning ordeal. These words are for them. 🕯

“The dead are invisible, but they are not absent. “ Victor Hugo, French writer

“You are not where you used to be, but you are everywhere I go. “ Victor Hugo

“If all life moves inevitably towards its end, then we must, during ours, colour it with our colours of love and hope. “ Marc Chagall, French painter

Hope, love and optimism 

In such a difficult time, these values tend to become more discreet. However, they are the true partners of mourning. ✨

“God gave a sister to the memory and called it hope. “ Michelangelo, Italian artist

“It’s not the years in your life that count; It’s the life in your years. “ Abraham Lincoln, US statesman

“Love is the only thing you take to eternity. “ Antonine Maillet, Canadian novelist

Poems to offer your condolences

What’s better than a poem to convey your friendship and affection towards the loss of a friend or a relative? When you are choked up, the poets know how to talk to the heart.

A peaceful farewell

Help your friends and family accepting the death of their loved one, thanks to this poem by Heinrich Heine – perfectly suited to say goodbye to an elderly person: 👴 👵

“Our death is in the cool of night,

our life is in the pool of day.

The darkness glows, I’m drowning,

the day has tired me with light. “

A hopeful breath

Send a beautiful hopeful message ✨ to your friend going through this ordeal, with I am standing in the sea shore by William Blake:

“What is dying?
I am standing in the sea shore,

a ship sails to the morning breeze

and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty
and I stand watching her till at last she fades on the horizon
and someone at my side says, ‘She is gone.’
Gone! Where? Gone from my sight–that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her,

and just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her;

and just at the moment when someone at my side says, ‘she is gone’

there are others who are watching her coming,

and others take up a glad shout– ‘There she comes!’ – and that is dying.”

The hope for revival

The tree and the seed, by Benoit Marchon, is resolutely optimistic message 🌱 for anyone facing the death of a loved one. This poem might help your friend considering this ordeal more peacefully, as if it were a flowery path. All spring needs a winter to be reborn.

“Somebody dies– and it is like steps coming to a halt.
But what if it were the start of a new journey?

Somebody dies– and it is like a tree falling.
But what if it were a seed germinating in a new soil?

Somebody dies– and it is like a door being slammed.
But what if it were a passage opening towards new horizons?

Somebody dies– and it is like a silence shouting.
But what if it helped listening the fragile music of life? “

A peaceful separation

No need to dramatise death more than nature made it. This is Henry Scott-Holland’s thought 👼 in the poem I am just round the corner:

“Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just round the corner.

All is well. “

Hopefully one of these poems will suit your intention of supporting your close ones (friends, family, colleagues) in their sorrow. You might even use them as a source of inspiration to write your own poem. SMS, messages, flowers or condolences cards – your close ones will probably be very touched by all these kind gestures.

Print your loved one’s messages in a memory book 📚❤️

When a loved one leaves this world, the memories stay. Yet, according to the Madagascan saying, “The dead are truly dead only once the living forgot them. “

Your memories are made of so many things – shared moments, images and representative colours or smells. ❤️Nowadays, after someone passes away, we also keep our messages conversations on our phone. With MonLivreSMS, you can print the most beautiful conversations you had with your deceased friend 💌: the funny ones, the ordinary ones reflecting your collusion, the ones showing your love and confidence… Pictures, audio files, videos, messages: your book Mon Livre SMS will include all the details you might wish in order to keep alive the memory of the deceased.

Rather than writing a long and difficult message, you might prefer to collect the conversations with the deceased among your friends and family 🌈, and make a book out of them. You could then offer it to your mourning friends or relatives, to remind them of the most wonderful moments lived by the deceased✨ . Thus, despite their sadness, they could hold in their hands 📚 the support of all the persons feeling for them during this ordeal.

If it is for you, you might find some comfort skimming over the book of your chats with your deceased father, mother or partner. 💙 We sincerely wish to give you seeds of peace and courage.

Here are the types of printable conversations: MessengerWhatsAppInstagramiPhone text messages or Android text messages see the different versions available on the site, by clicking on the logo “MonLivreSMS – how to print text messages”.

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